Thursday, March 8, 2012

unknw feeling....but i hate it!!

haiz.. its exam period.. haven been working for 3 months hoping i can forces on study n score well but during the prelims its like a hell to me i actually forget all my things once i step in the hall.. hope it wont happen at actual exam in ending of may..


With Ian so far sailing quite good,although he keep nags me to study n study.. home...

After sis gt marry things at home are like up down slop...From the start my house is already very "old minded(only cares more on guy)" but once sis gt marry things are like getting worst..Whenever any of my parents is sick or injury i will inform my sibling.. But now when there's any "news about my parents i will tell me brother instead than of both of them except for serious matter.. And because of that my mum dote my brother even more.. when relative call she will tell others that my brother gt give them money when he gt his pay,care for their health by asking them about their health and worry about them (when behind every scene i'm always the first person to know all the things that had happen n worry/take care of them)when relative ask or say things about me her comment is like ok lor,or ver bad... (everything or words i say will only be negative to her because she only listen to the negative parts from me and positive from my brother..) ARGH!!
Sometime i really hope that is best I'm not at home,at home i got to do housework when the mans no need.. But if i never help do i,myself cant beg to let her do all things herself.. Haiz.. During this period when i never go work but staying at home trying to study and my brother went to work as sale I'm even more depress.. She will compare me and my brother pay, saying how capable is he how poor thing is he(waking up early to work,coming home late, haven eat dinner..etc) Worst when he work i got more things to do,help him buy formal shirts ,shoes etc. (ask by mum using mum money that she claim its brother money).. When he return home late i got to help mum wash clothes whenever i can (she's tired and still need to work on the next day)
But when i work did she even think of me?? NO!I used to work and study for my expenses n sch fees but she never think or care for me before..I hate this type of feeling/treatment!!

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